This is what I have discovered.
I traded my walking shoes for American Idol.
I traded my healthy eating for Dancing with the Stars.
I traded my clean house for "House".
I traded my active life for a sedentary life...
I have made many poor choices over the last few years that have led to my obesity (I hate that word - it is so real) And perhaps one of the worst choices I made was to trade my physical activity for mind numbing entertainment. Honestly - it happened so subtly that I hardly noticed at first and by the time I noticed it was too late. Several years ago, I gave up really living my own life because it was too stressful and challenging, and for awhile, too freaking painful. I began to live vicariously through others. My kids, the shows on tv , people around me were easier to focus on than to deal with my challenges and heart aches. After about a year - I quit the pity party and I resumed alot of things - but I never resumed the part of my life that was healthy. I didn't love myself enough and I let myself off the hook for anything that was uncomfortable or challenging.
So little by little I have come back to me. The real me that I admire and love. ( So all the haters out there can shove it. Everyone has the same opportunities to make a good life for themselves and I am doing that one day at a time. Don't tell me I can't and don't put me down just because you don't have the guts to make your own life good. Don't you dare let me hear that you are jealous of me or envy me - I might just punch you in the face. Okay maybe that's a little harsh but what I am really meaning is - I no longer want to let people make me feel bad because I look good. And I am gonna look good! That's the plan and it is okay to be my best. I am done apologizing. If you don't like me or you feel uncomfortable around me - then you change. I'm not going to stay fat to please you. )
I walked for an hour today. I don't know how far I went, somewhere over two miles. And I am starting my healthy eating again. The t.v. is off and is no longer my best friend. I am spending my free time working on a better me. I am going to track my calories, work on new and exciting recipes and I am walking a 5k in August. (Thanks to my daughter who is training for a marathon - she is now who I used to be - x's about 10 - fearless and driven - and who I want to be again!)
Okay - that kicks me off on the path again - like it or leave it - this is me.
That's all -