10.22.2016

High as a Kite

I love this moment - done!
Okay, so its been a few days since I last posted.  I could count how many but zzzz - who cares.  I'm posting now and there are no rules and I want to record a moment and that is enough.  For Me anyway - I'm high as a kite.

I just walked/ran a 5k.  Again.  I have been doing 5k's since May, at least once a month and sometimes 2. But today was special (just kidding, they are all special) and I really am as high as a kite.  My problems and worries have not disappeared, my stresses have not magically erased but I am flying on a cloud of weightlessness and joy.  This is why I do it.  This is why I do it again and again.  I do it for joy.  The joy and release that comes from doing something that I couldn't do before.  From doing something that costs me so much but I pay the price solely for the pleasure of the finish.  From pounding out each step on that damn pavement and leaving every ounce of human spirit I can pull from the reserves out there on that road.

Another reward:  New PR 50:14.  I am almost to the 40's!!!  Haha - the older I get the faster I get - take that father time!

I look around.  I see other people like me who are giving it everything they have.  Some, like me, are not fast enough to be racing for a medal.  We are not in competition with the others, only with ourselves. But this is enough!  I see a dad and what appears to be an autistic son, walking, running,  holding hands, I see human spirit.  I see an African American woman, with body long and lean walking  ahead of me pulling away from me and I cannot keep up and she has probably 10 years on me and I feel her human spirit. My buddy has MS, she has bad days and believe me, I get it, and yet there she is, putting it all out there with grace and love and a huge amount of human spirit. Everywhere I look I see fighters, warriors, finishers - we get up, lace up, show up, and finish up. We are no excuses.

I ran a huge part of today's race.  Huge for me I mean - although it probably added up to half a mile. For me it was a victory.  I am coming to trust my body again.  To believe it can hold me up and sustain my speed without falling, exhausting or injuring.  I want to be a runner. I want to be lean and long and light.  Today I nudged my body and spirit one step closer.  Today I took one more wrung up the ladder. Today I impressed myself.

I have started listening to music as I go.  It has been a huge help.  I have to admit, my best pace song is Flo Rida - Right Round (terrible song - lol - but what a great beat for a beginning runner!)  But my joy song is Shackles by Mary Mary:

It sure is hot out here, ya know? I don't mind though just glad to be great Know what I'm saying!
Chorus: Take the shackles off my feet so I can dance I just wanna praise you ... I just wanna praise you ... You broke the chains now I can lift my hands And I'm gonna praise you, I'm gonna praise you!
In the corners of my mind I just can't seem to find a reason to believe That I can break free, cause you see I have been Down for so long, feel like the hope is gone, but as I lift my hands, I understand that I should praise you through my circumstance
Chorus
Everything that could go wrong All went wrong at one time So much pressure fell on me I thought I was gonna lose my mind But I know you wanna see If I will hold on through these trials But I need you to lift this load Cause I can't take anymore
Chorus
Been through the fire and the rain Bound in every kind of way But God has broken every chain So let me go right now Chorus Take them off Take them off What'cha gonna do
Chorus
I am no "Power Christian" believe me, I once went there and I found it exhausting.  I am only a simple believer and not a thumper.  But, there is a verse in the Bible that says, God inhabits the praise of his people. When I hear Shackles, I believe it.  When I am on the road, if you see me raise my hand I am praising God.  Praising that I have the strength to be there, both mentally and physically.  Praising God that even though I don't understand Him - I believe He is with me.  He didn't leave me stranded in the wilderness with shackles, wallowing in my fear.  He brought me to running club and set me in the midst of beautiful women and though not perfect, they are perfect for me.  And if they aren't perfect then I don't have to be perfect either. 

 He set me free and set my feet on a journey...and I'm gonna praise Him.  And then I'm gonna pat myself on the back and say good job, now go do it again. 
And then I must remember to  Ask Him to forgive me for Flo Rida...

That's all ~ Thanks y'all! 

7.06.2016

To Sweat or Not To Sweat - That Is the Question

Oh boy! It is HOT in the south.  My husband and I took the dogs out for a little walk around the park and in two minutes the sweat was rolling off my face like a river.  At 7:30 the temp was still in the 90's.  Hot, Hot, HOT! 

The deal is, as a lady, I fall for the notion sweat is bad.  It can be smelly, awkward, embarrassing and uncomfortable.  It can cause all kinds of problems like chaffing and rashes.  But if I want to really be an athlete, and I do, I have to at least be comfortable and embrace this thing called sweat. 

At first this was difficult. I did feel uncomfortable.  I felt sticky and yucky and just irritable. Then I started creating more and more sweat.  I started increasing my effort and the sweat started flowing. After awhile I gave myself over to it and wow, I began to relax into the sweaty, red-faced gal that wasn't embarrassed but was proud of my sweat soaked shirt. I began to glory in a body that can cool itself and create a way to keep going even when the temperature is not so pleasant.

I bought a headband.  Who cares what my hair looks like?  I'm trying to lose the weight of an extra person that I carry around.  Who cares if the front of my shirt looks like I poured my bottled water over me?  I am trying to leave behind the bad decisions of the last 8 years.  Who cares that when I get in the car to drive home the air conditioner reveals that more of me is wet than that which is dry.  And by the way, if my car starts smelling like a locker room I could care less.  I will smile all the way to Bath and Body Works where I will purchase some really strong car deodorizer.  I don't care.

I know there are some people who hate to sweat.  We talk about this out on the road as the sting of sweat trickles into our eyes. I say, I can tell I'm working out, my eyelids are sweating.  I'm so proud. It's okay that my walking buddy doesn't like sweat.  Everyone has their limits. 

But me, I am learning to love it.  I am sooo glad I'm out there working so hard that sweat is necessary.  I'm so proud of the body that once did very little sweating and is now producing enough to keep me going.  I'm so proud I pushed through my discomfort and began to focus more on the goal than the obstacle.  There is more to come, I have not arrived.  But I have answered a burning question and I am happy about my decision. 

Am I going to give just enough effort, on nice days to perspire a little and work up a good glisten?  Heck no!  I'm going all out and if I'm lucky there won't be a dry stitch when I am done. 

To sweat or not to sweat? By all means enjoy the sweat Kimberly. You earned it!

That's all ~ Thanks y'all!