There may be a few out there that once read my blog who already know where I've been but a quick, and I mean quick, update for those who don't. I moved to the Port of Cows, yes, Lavaca, Arkansas. Riveting, yes? Right....
My husband is in school (at 53) and working on his Doctorate of Nursing Practice (Nurse Practitioner). I followed him here, of course, because that's what wives do. I love him and cheer for his success. But, and that is a big ol' but, life is challenging and life is a little extra challenging at 51, riddled with constant change, some rocky past "stuff" and some bad choices. So I write. I write about being over weight and my journey to not be overweight. I write to journal, and it is personal(if you don't do personal go on and hit that little house icon that will get you the heck outta here) and I write for others. Why? Because others have written for me. Sometimes, someone can say something and it hits a note in your life and you breathe a sigh of relief, I am not alone, someone else gets it.
This morning as I contemplated my return to blogging I thought about what blogging does for me and why it has in the past been such a useful tool in weight loss and I realized something fairly significant, possibly even profound. Writing about my struggles, my aspirations, my successes and my setbacks helps me visualize myself in this war on weight. Helps me see the goal line, helps me plan the plays that will help me find my way to those hurdles I need to cross and gives me the visual of me crossing them. Once I have written it down for the world (all five people who read my blog including family hahaha) to see, it is more real. It is easier to believe and begin.
So here I am dusting the planet with words, hoping that like seeds some of these words will find fertile soil in my soul and hopefully someone else's too. From the seeds of thought may mighty actions grow!
When I left Conway, Arkansas in August of 2013, I was a miserable wreck. Stressed out, overweight, scared of what was coming down the line. Life was full of change and challenge and I was not handling it well but I was determined to find the old me while I was there! We moved to Memphis and lived there for two years and when I left Memphis I was hopeful, energetic, 30 pounds lighter, and determined to stay with my weight loss goals and efforts. Then...the tough parts of life argued with me and I let that old bastard win. My exercise has been spotty, my diet has been warbly, I've gained back some of my weight and find myself heading back down the slippery slope. I have a great job, a devoted husband, wonderful family and I have made some new friends here. If I could just get myself off the couch, I could have a really spectacular life. And isn't that what I want? Not a hum drum, limping along, making it through the day kind of life, but a passionate KICK-ASS kind of life. Heck Yeah!
So here is the plan. Get it back together. Envision myself a fighter, a warrior, a winner, a jogger, a healthy, happy soul. Push back those demons that drag me down and embrace the positives, the woman I know is the real me, invite the happier parts of life back in and lock the door on the doubts, dreads, guilts, and fears. Its not easy. Its not for wimps. But I am not a wimp. I am a fighter, and a today I am a blogger and some day soon I hope to be a jogger again and feel the muscles of my body carry me along on the wind without a care in the world.
That's the me I want to be, that's why I blog - to invite her back and ask her to stay. To let the "real me" know, she is not just welcome here, she is expected!
That's all ~ Thanks Y'all!