I thought I should write an update. We are about two months into a new life. Wow. I have to admit, my head is spinning a little. To live in the same home for 17 years and then move first to Memphis and now back to Arkansas has been an adventure, to say the least.
Resetting in a new location, even a location I love, is full of challenge. Its not like I thought it would be any different and I really didn't have any choice but I am so fully aware of every choice and decision as there is no routine because everything is new. Change is fun and exciting for me in small doses but I have to admit, en masse change is really overwhelming. I never realized to what extent I had become a creature of habit. I get it now!
Finding a new hair stylist, manicurist, dog groomer, doctor, grocery store, etc. is sometimes a bit daunting for me. I will be glad when we are a little further down the road and there is a new normal.
But the strangest thing is the knowledge that I can reinvent myself yet again. I don't know about other folks but for me, as I age, my sense of self is more steady in some ways but more flexible in others. A newfound sense of control over my actions and attitudes has emerged with my age. A much deeper awareness of who I am is also evident as well as a thorough knowledge of who I want to be and where I succeed or fall short.
So figuring out who I am and how I fit into the new setting is the latest part of my healthy life quest. Not always going so well but I know it could be worse. The eating is pretty good - I am still trying to eat natural, not processed, fresh foods. The exercising is more difficult but I have a new work schedule and so does the hubby, my work out partner, and we knew this would be a challenge. Not to mention it is 9:45 and already a heat index of almost 90 degrees and there is no way I'm going walking in that! Sooooooo - this is where I find myself, knowing it is time to get serious about fitting exercise into my routine but not quite sure which way to turn first. I think I have to steal a phrase from AA folks and "do the next right thing".
I just need to start. I have averaged about one walk a week since I have been here and managed one trip to the gym. I am keenly aware of several things; exercising and being healthy takes effort - it will not happen by accident. It takes courage. It takes determination. It is easier when it becomes part of my routine and much harder to begin the routine. I know I miss the confidence it gives me. I miss the stress release and the mental clarity. I miss the path to weight loss I was on and I do not like the hopeless feeling that comes from not having a plan for getting rid of the next ten pounds.
But I refuse to despair. I know I will get it because I have made a commitment to myself to lose the weight and be as healthy as possible and I'm not done yet. It may be slow going but it has happened and it will happen and it will be good! Awesome even. We all have our moments at the crossroads. I think I set up a tent there. I thought writing about it might help me define it and sometimes that is a good first step toward change.
So I'm here in the Port of Cows, just waiting on me to be the better me and get it going to the gym! And I know it's just a matter of time! Because that's how I roll these days! next right thing, next right thing, next right thing - do the mantra - do the deed!
That's all ~ Thanks y'all!