Behind the 8 Ball

Ever play pool?  Not in the pool, the game of pool? Most of us have and if you haven't, you should. Its a fun game and as most Americans know, you hit one ball into another and try to get certain balls in the pocket.  However, the game has its nemesis, the dreaded eight ball. Of course in recent years the term "eight ball" was drafted into the drug world as something like a measurement of a certain white substance.  Not being up on drug lingo I can't really tell you exactly what it is but suffice it to say, that is not the eight ball I'm behind.  No thank you, no drugs for me. And it seems back in the beginning of the Dean Martin era when martinis were hot, there was some drink called an eight ball.  But I digress, I was talking about the eight ball of pool being the nemesis. 

The eight ball is the pivotal ball in the game rightfully named "eight ball".  It is the last ball to be played and you have to call which pocket it goes into. If you knock it in before you have cleared the table of your other balls, you lose.  If you  try to knock it in and the cue ball goes into a pocket on the attempt, you lose. If you send it into the wrong pocket that you did not call, you lose. So there is only one way to win, to follow the rules exactly, clear all the other obstacles that are your responsibility and then with accuracy or great luck, you must do exactly as you say and send the eight ball into the called pocket. 

Going into all this because?  I thought of the saying "behind the eight ball" today.  Ever talk to one of those no-nonsense people who have no concept of what it is to be overweight, unhealthy, regretful or sad? There are people who have the ability to empathize with others and there are people who cannot and then of course every combination in between.  I have always been a tender-hearted. empathizer.  I care about people, I care about issues, I care about myself and I have deep feelings.  Some people apparently do not. 

I once had a theory that everyone that lived on this earth would some day have trouble, big trouble. Enough trouble to make them soften and be more compassionate.  I realize now that was a naïve assumption.  In fact, apparently, some folks are so hard core that hard times just make them saltier, grumpier, more judgmental.  Lovely. My latest realization is that there are people who are so over-confident, so proud of themselves and their lack of feelings, that they actually look down on people who are, like me, more emotional.  Wow, it took me awhile to get it but now that I get it, I really get it.  My response?  At this point in my life, I chuckle. 

Chuckle?  Not a belly laugh like oh that is too funny, but a soft chuckle that says, well you are certainly entitled to your opinion but I disagree.  Okay - so what does this all have to do with my weight loss and my quest for better health?  Well here it is....

When you are overweight, when I am overweight, I am behind the eight ball. I am in this fun game of life but I have played the table in a way that has me positioned right behind my nemesis.  I am in a really tough spot where the chances of me winning are greatly compromised.  I have to maneuver (fight) my way back to a healthy position before I can even begin to focus on winning the prize. The prize for me is enjoying my life minus this weight and the health problems that have come with it.  

And the connection?  There are always gonna be people who just don't get it.  They make their judgments sitting in pious positions and think their ways are "the" ways.  Think its so easy to turn things around. Think I should just get over it, whatever it is. There are people who do not and never will understand what it means to be "behind the eight ball".  People who think they are better than me.  So why do I laugh? 

I laugh because I know something they may never know.  There is no one better than me. I am made the way I am for a reason. I am neither better or worse than anyone else.  I am on my journey learning things as I go. We all have our goods and bads, rights and wrongs and the moment we sit on a high horse (My daughter would say, "Must be nice to have such a tall horse") we begin to show our imperfection by believing we are perfect and all others are flawed. So yeah, I can be a bit emotional but I can also be empathetic and sympathetic and I try not to hurt people's feelings. 

I am behind the eight ball but I am learning about myself while I'm here.  I am learning not to be so quick to judge people and especially not based on outward appearance.  I am learning to embrace my feelings without being a slave to them. I am learning that no matter who is standing around the table watching me play out of this mess I got myself into, I am can keep my head up, play my game my way, and ignore the negativity of others.  Their negativity, their crustiness, their insensitivity to other people's feelings - not my problem.  "They" are spectators.  This is not their game, it is mine.

I just gotta aim and shoot.  Repeat.   If I keep my concentration on the game at hand, my game, I will get this turned around. I have to clear the obstacles by taking responsibility for them.  I have to follow the rules exactly as prescribed,  I have to focus. 

Spectators will come and go with their judgments and opinions and some may second guess my choices or my motivations but there are a few things to remember when I am behind the eight ball, the current nemesis of my existence -

I may be behind the eight ball but - it is my eight ball
I may have gotten myself in a bind in the middle of the game but - it is my game
There may be a crowd of spectators watching me all around the table but hey, guess what?
It's my table!!!

That's all ~ Thanks Y'all!!!