Well, I've given myself a couple or 4 days to get it together. I have been doing alot of soul-searching, alot of thinking, and some talking with friends. I think I am back on track. This is not what I wanted for my life but there is a good deal of it I can change. I just have to want to. I have to want it enough to make a complete lifestyle change. I have been trying to do that for these past 81 posts, work on that lifestyle change, and I just have to keep doing that.
Fitness and healthy eating must move close to the top of my list, crowding in right behind my family and job, threatening to overtake them even, but pulling back just before going too far. I must use my creative brain to create this new life and make it work even though it feels like it can't - it can and it will. Even going to the doctor and getting help are positive moves - even though at first it felt like a set back, now I see and understand, this is not a set back - goodness no, this is the beginning.
When I said on the first day I was tired of being tired, I now know one of the main reasons I was tired and I am working to correct it. If I was operating at life the day after my oxygen level dropped to 67% as slept, I can only imagine how much better I will operate when my oxygen level stays up to 100% while I sleep.
Part of my dread of going to doctors is the fear of finding out the things I didn't want to know and having to deal with those. But I realize today, I am better off knowing and dealing with this issue than suffering in silence and not getting any better. We have all heard the saying, "knowledge is power" but I heard not too long ago that this wasn't true. Knowledge may be the beginning of power but action is the real power!
Go forward in knowledge, action and power! That's good medicine.