Potential ....

Potential is a funny word.  I have thought about my potential many times over the years.  If you have heard of Dillard Department Stores it might surprise you to know, the Dillard family lives in Arkansas and the first store was started in Arkansas.  I worked for them about 15 years ago and I still remember walking into the corporate office with the marble walls surrounding the elevator lobby and thinking, my -my, for a little country girl, you sure have made it big...then up to the second floor where I had a cubicle with a huge window facing the road in front of the building.  I was in tall cotton then....it was good.  But the family was suffering, 4 children and 2 full-time working parents is a tall order and a lot of work.  So after about 3 years I gave up my "real" job to stay home with the children and work on  my degree. 

Long story short, I ended up working a variety of part time jobs like the tanning place down the road, a couple of florist shops (which I loved), the church office (resist the urge - you will lose your religion) I tried to start up my own pottery business but never really saw a good enough profit to make it worth the very hard work it was, although creating was a joy, I would rather do it for pleasure instead of profit.  Or at least not be focused on profit.  I knew all along that these jobs were okay for the short term but they did not completely tap into my potential.  I didn't doubt myself at first but over time, I didn't feel as sharp or as marketable as I once had.

I think about this today because after all these years I finally have a job that will stretch me and challenge me and help me grow.  It will satisfy the need to flex my intellectual muscle.  It just feels good.  It also makes me even more determined not to stay overweight.  I am surrounded by professionals, by Air Force pilots who as a rule, try to stay thin (those cockpits are tiny) and these guys are mostly over achievers.  I am reminded today, that I can rise up to higher level, I want to rise up to a higher level.  I want to reach the highest level of my potential that I can. 

Some things happened along my journey through life that began to soften my resolve, cloud my vision and water down my drive.  Honestly, some of those things were my own fault or of my own devices but in others, I had no part, they were just life happening the way it does.  Sometimes we lose things we never thought we would lose or people we never dreamed we would lose.  John Lennon said, "Life is what happens while we are busy making other plans".  How profound and true.  But I don't want to be a victim or a stranger in my own life...I think I have said this before but I must keep repeating it to myself. 

There are really no words that can explain the relief I feel to be at this place in my life.  I came home tonight and got on the treadmill first thing.  I ate well today and I am ready for tomorrow.  I want change and I want it for the right reasons.  Not because I am mad at myself or down on myself but because I long to be my best and I know that takes work and sacrifice and I am finally ready to make that sacrifice and do that work.

I don't want to give up, I don't want to stop, until I reach my full potential....

Thanks Ya'll!!! (especially those of you who wished me well today!  So appreciated!!!)