Okay this is the last sad/morbid post and then I promise to lighten up. And actually I don't think this is all that sad, just morbid but in a dry, sick humor kind of way.
I had the opportunity to work for Lockhead Martin a couple of months ago. In fact that is where I was working when I was layed off. It was just a short contract but that's a whole different story. The story is that when I was working for them, our offices being located on the Air Force Base, I got to see some of the inner workings of the base. For instance, I never knew that at 4:30 in the afternoon they broadcast the Star Spangled Banner across the base and no matter where you are, if you are outside, you stop in respect. I also got to fly one of the flight simulators they use to train pilots, of course I crashed it, but it was cool to try. For some reason today I was reminded of a slogan I saw while on the base, Learn or Die.
When I first saw Learn or Die it was on a t-shirt and I think it was the motto of the latest class of pilots, or maybe a class that had recently graduated. At first I was kind of stunned. Learn or Die, that sounded pretty harsh. Then I realized, it was quite literal. If you are in pilot training, you either learn how to fly the plane or you and your crew are going to die. There is no cheating on a test just to make the grade, there is no learning it now but forgetting it when you graduate. Wow, how intimidating but also, in a strange way, reassuring. Someone told me recently, they don't fail pilots. Not the way they fail you if you make an F in math class. Except for the occasional soul who just cannot make it, they work with you until you have it and know that you have it.
That's the kind of resolve I want to have while learning how to eat right, exercise and find healthy ways to relieve stress in my life. I want to remember it's Learn or Die. (die young that is because I know, we all die someday). I don't think of this as a bad thing, it's a choice I need to make every day. For me, at this age and weight, I am a time bomb waiting to go off. So it's not a bad motto. It's not me being dramatic or paranoid, I just know, I have to learn to do this and stay committed to this new lifestyle...
So for me... I am going to take the high road, and try to remember...
or die trying.