In answer to my question yesterday - I have come up with a moment of clarity (haller-lu-ya)
Don't wait until you feel like doing it - just do it!!!!! (again, thank you Chris - Deliberate Life)
REVELATION: I am the queen of basing my actions on my feelings.
Me talking to me, "get a damn grip". If I went around basing all action on feeling I would;
a. be in jail for murder
b. own every cute pair of shoes ever made
c. be halfway through an affair with Matt Damon (just kidding)
d. never cook
e. never clean
f. eat junk until I blew up like a balloon (oops kinda started that one)
and on and on and on....mature people do not base action on feeling - that's what middle school girls do and that's why everyone groans at the thought of dealing with middle school girl drama.
So get up and do it Kim - doesn't matter how you feel, doesn't matter if you fail, it matters if you try or don't try - that is character.
I also remembered, if I don't work out in conjunction with my weight loss, I will lose muscle. I have too precious little left to lose - this is not an option.
So for all the cute little humorous posts and all the kitchen savvy - I am realizing that - I am procrastinating doing the work - procrastination is a disease. Do Not Procrastinate - face it! DO IT!
Okay, okay, I'm doing it! Today!
A word about ..... "thanks ya'll"...it's my "here's johnny"(Johnny Carson) tribute, my nod to my country roots but mostly, a reminder to me: When I was 9 years old we moved from the city of Little Rock to the country town of Clinton. I learned a new word there. Ya'll. At 9 years old even I recognized how "country hick" that sounded. I thought to myself, in rebellion to my new surroundings in which I was an outsider, I will never use that word. I really don't use it that often but I do use it sometimes, along with "fixin to" and a host of other shortened phrases. I don't have the prejudice against those phrases I once had - to each his own right? However, I try not to sound like I am "hick" so I avoid that dialect in most settings.
Point being, we all end up doing things we said we would never do. I also said I would never get so heavy - would not let myself go there. But I did. So "thanks ya'll" is me thanking all the people who are supporting me and at the same time, reminding me, we all do those things we said we wouldn't. It's okay. but we can change it if we choose. It's is a CHOICE...
That being said, Thanks Ya'll!
Part 2 - I did it! As I walked, I felt stronger, I jogged a few times for short bursts and gave it 100% and if my son hadn't been close by I think I would have cried hysterically. All the pain and drama of Monday's episode was still in there and it came bubbling up and I ran it out and let it go. I sweated out my procrastination, laziness and fear. I laughed, I cried and today I crossed another emotional hurdle that had been holding me back. I DID IT! GO ME!