When I was young my sister played a cruel trick on me (more than once). She would hide in the bedroom and when I walked into the dark room she would grab me, holler, or both. It didn't take very many of these episodes before I was tentatively fumbling around on the wall, trying to find the switch before I entered the room. I thought about this the other day while walking. In my quest for better health, sometimes I can be so tentative, fearful, fumbling around for the light switch.
I suppose I am afraid of change. Afraid to let go of bad habits like comfort foods and nightcaps. Maybe afraid it will cost too much or maybe even reveal painful breeches in my character that I'm not ready to face. Whatever the fear, it does seem to be present every time I start a new push toward health.
I thought of other light switch moments. Moments of a different kind. I noticed the trees this weekend when I was out walking. They have tiny little buds of green. Against the contrast of all the grey of winter, we see spring just about to immerge. Then the rain starts and I realize, the rain will coax all those miniature buds to open up and as soon as the sun comes out again, it will be as if mother nature flips the switch. Like the opening scene of the Wizard of Oz, we will transform from gray tones to full blown color in just a day. That's how it happens in the south, surrounded by zillions of trees, spring brings an eruption of color.
I hope as the weeks progress I can let my inner strength push me to be like the trees, let the rain of life coax the little buds of color from the gray landscape. Then suddenly I will see the transformation all around me and find myself on the other side of the door in full color. Let my instinct to bloom rule the day - let my true nature shine.
I do not want to go through life feeling for the light switch. I don't want to live in fear of the what ifs. Screw the what ifs. I just want to be a rich and vibrant soul, full of color, full of life, not full of fear!
That's all ~ thanks y'all!