I am going to give myself a reality check though. This is not a punishment (although it kind of feels like one) It is simply me reminding me that I am not doing this for the fun of it. I am overweight, I am dangerously close to all kinds of life changing illnesses and I am not as attractive (to me) as I believe I could be or deserve to be. My reality check is going to be posting pics of where I am or was 20 pounds ago.
Me this summer with my husband, son and son's girlfriend
Christmas, with my daughter and grandson
Bundled up enjoying the snow a month ago...
I don't like to post pics of myself because I don't like the reality of how I look these days. That being said, I think it is good for me to face the painful truth and get on with it. I hope to do better in the days ahead. This may very well be my first moment of truth, where I face the crossroads. I had a high calorie weekend - eating out one night because my sister was in town. Then dinner at mom's which was a mix of low cal and high cal foods - I thought those were isolated incidents that I chose, not moments that chose me and caused me to fall. I knew Monday was a new day and a return to my plan. Now I am not so sure, I am questioning myself. I don't want to turn back and screw this up again.
Those hash brown squares are 8 grams of fat each, with 140 calories. I don't know how I went from doing so good( I even tried out a new recipe yesterday that was really yummy and healthy) to a complete break. Am I like the alcoholic who after one drink goes back to the bottle? Only mine is the taste of fat, salt and the rich taste of calories?
Like I said, I am not going to hang my head in shame. I have tried to come into this time of change with self love, confidence and positive thinking. I choose to believe in me. The reality is painful but it is not who I choose to be, I am better than this and I am beating this.
These ramblings are starting to remind me of Charlie Sheen, could be the codeine in the cough syrup...so I am signing off...gotta get it together...