Kicked to the Curb

[[Tongue-in-cheek is a phrase used as a figure of speech to imply that a statement or other production is ironically intended and it should not be taken at face value.Wikipedia.]] 

... I just like to forewarn folks this post is gonna be "tongue-in-cheek". Some people expect every weight loss blog to be entirely facts and figures and while i appreciate those types of blogs, that's not always how i roll   ...  Dedicated to my sister, who is my best friend, and all my daughters.

In other words - it's meant to be funny not taken to heart!

The Ones I Kicked to the Curb and
Why I Still Miss Them

I dated my share of guys trying to find "Mr. Right"  Some of them, I had no problem leaving behind, and some it took gentle persuasion by the brain to get the heart to disengage, and some I left with a vengeance and a passion that was like the force of a fast moving train...

So why bring this up on a weight loss blog?  The other night as I was reading other bloggers' words of wisdom I came across a blog where a woman was saying she missed ice cream, and she missed this and she missed that, and it hit me that she sounded like she was  pining away for a lost love. 

I understood her feelings!  I thought it would be humorous and poignant to go there...and play it out and have some fun.  Obviously, the names have been changed to protect the innocent ...  ☺

First there was Ferdinand Mexican, he was spicy and warm and ethnic, but he wasn't good for me.  Why?  because he was like an obsession, the more I had the more I wanted.  His rich thick accent masked the fact that he was taking over my life.  I made all kinds of excuses to be with him even when I knew he was not giving back the love he was getting.  Instead of real love he filled me with empty promises and pretended he was good for me while all the while he was filling my life with lies...so glad to be done with that.  But sometimes when I am lonely, or not feeling well, I miss his charm, his spice and the smell of him. 

There was also this guy name Kyle Caffeine a.k.a. Mr.Pepper.  He was lame.  It wasn't hard to get rid of him really, well after a few days.  He was empty.  He was good for a little bubble of excitement from time to time but when I was with him everyday he became a bore.  I figured I really didn't need the headache that came from missing him for a day and then seeing him and wondering why I had missed him so much.  He is better as a friend I see from time to time but not really someone I have to depend on day to day.  I would rather spend my time and effort on a guy that is cool and clear with no headaches and not so much baggage and most of all no dependency.  You know a relationship I can count on. Pete is refreshing on a limited basis only - then he just gets to be redundant.

I also enjoyed Freddie Processed, in the beginning that is. Wow!  He was loaded with extras.  He was like a smorgasbord of possibilities.  He had it all together and seemed like the the whole package.  But you know, after a while he really brought me down too.  He did everything for me and I hardly had to lift a finger but it was all done His way.  Like I didn't have any choice.  Even though he was right there at my fingertips, ready and available all the time, I felt smothered and really weighed down.  There are times now, when my life feels overwhelming and I want to reach out to him, he seemed to always have an answer, but I know better.  His solutions may seem to take the burden off me for awhile but I was a prisoner to his control.  He forced his unhealthy thinking on me long enough.  I don't need that!

Finally there was the classic sweetheart, yep, you guessed it, Ike Ice Cream.  Oh those days when I was young and we spent hours together.  I could see him every day and never think a thing about it.  He was so sweet and accommodating and rich too! I mean, what more could a girl want?  But all that sweetness began to take its toll.  You know sometimes a guy can just be too sweet and it starts to get kinda sick feeling.  But still, I miss those smooth, sweet moments sometimes and knowing he was there to back me up.  Oh the comfort of a sweetheart like that, always telling you what you want to hear.  We are distant friends now.  Occasionally I will call him up and chat just a bit, or sometimes he shows up at parties and I am faced with him for a night.  I try to spend just a minute with him and not let it go on for too long.  Now that I am away from the sweetness, it doesn't take much to be too much. 

I am glad I found my Mr. Right!  He can be as exciting as I want and he doesn't make empty promises.  He is straightforward and honest.  What you see is what you get.  No hidden surprises or issues of control.  I have to work a little harder to keep him around, but you know, the challenge is really good for me.  I found out the hard way, if it's too easy, it might not be healthy...

That's all - Thanks Ya'll


  1. Love it...out with the old, in with the new.

  2. Very fun read. I roared reading about Freddie Processed "loaded with extras!" Very clever. You write so well. I found this whole post quite entertaining. More, please!

  3. Too funny! I think I've met some of these bad boys myself!

  4. Love the journey... Happy that you found Mr. Right too. It helps that they are not too easy and not too hard, but just right.
    Have a great weekend!


I want to know what you have to say....comments, constructive criticism, advice and/or anything else - except trash - I delete that stuff!

(If you want to leave a comment but are not a "blogger" just set up a FREE gmail account with google)