The Tragical Magical Resolve Dissolve

Resolve ...


verb re·solve \ri-ˈzälv, -ˈzȯlv also -ˈzäv or -ˈzȯv\

Popularity: Top 10% of words

Simple Definition of resolve

  • : to find an answer or solution to (something) : to settle or solve (something)
  • : to make a definite and serious decision to do something
  • : to make a formal decision about something usually by a vote
Let's start with the second definition; to make a definite and serious decision to do SOMETHING. 
Thursday I "resolved" to go walking with my new walking buddies after work.  My commitment was semi-permanent, meaning I felt pretty sure of my decision and thought I had about a 95% chance of following through.  But as each buddy began to fall off through the afternoon with sickness, sick loved ones, surgery pain, meetings,  and all those things that life throws at us, pretty soon my resolve began to waver. It was down to just two of us and one of two had already done some walking at the gym.  It was so easy to bow out and say okay - lets go for Monday. ( I let that 5% of doubt win)
Today, I resolved to see if any of the group wanted to walk tonight after work.  No one was available.  So I resolved to get on the treadmill when I got home.  RESOLVE SET GO! I set off for the drive home.
My hubby works nights so as I am driving home - he is driving to work - we try to talk on the phone during our mutual 20 minute drives which ironically go in opposite directions.  I tell him of my resolve and laugh as I add, if my resolve doesn't dissolve.  I admit to him, if the magical 20 minute melt down between how sure I feel when I leave work changes into how tired I feel when I get home, my resolve will go "POOF" and there will be no walking on the treadmill.  
So my question, what is it about the drive home, the long day, the lack of buddy support that changes all that resolve into that melted puddle of dissolve?    Back to the definition - item one; to find an answer or solution to (something): to settle or solve (something)
I need to resolve the problem with my resolve. I'm gonna go with that post I wrote a few days back...feelings, nothing more than feelings. Feelings are where the problem begins and ends.
Here it is in the nutshell of all that is tragic magic, If I base my decision on my feelings - right now - where I am in my life and this journey back to health - my feelings will not support my resolve.  It really is that simple.  I have to base my resolve on facts. 
Bingo.  I'm trying.  I don't want that magical, tragical journey home every day to kill my resolve.  I want victory and success and I'm not going to find those top notch rewards at the bottom of the feeling pile. If I watch my resolve dissolve because my bad day, my bad mood, my bad physical condition, then I am just cheating myself.
So - the new resolve, keep basing the decision to exercise and eat healthy on fact.  I'm overweight, I have type 2 diabetes, I have worked hard to be able to walk three miles again, all these reasons and more are fact only.  They require no real thought, only real action.  Its what separates the men from the boys, the brave from the fearful, the resolve from the dissolve.
That's all I have for today.  Do the next right thing.  That's my resolve.
That's all ~ Thanks y'all!  

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