Do you ever think about your life in the form of a Seinfeld episode? Am I the only one who does this? You know how each episode has a theme and each character somehow contributes to that theme? I think this is brilliant sitcom fodder, brilliant! Anyway, some times life has these little nuances that remind me of Seinfeld. Things that hit me funny or seem to appear out of the blue but then keep repeating.
Today I opened my desk drawer at my office job and there was a manila envelope with the words "Petty Cash" written across the front. No one said a word. No big ceremony for me being given the keys to the city, just some random decision made by someone I'm not sure who, that I was now proven trustworthy to be handed the petty cash. I felt proud. Someone trusts me with $3.18 that does not belong to me? What will tomorrow bring? the key to the cabinet where they store the toilet paper? Just kidding, its not under lock and key.
Monday there was a prepaid visa card in my desk with a sticky note that said "use this the next time you have to order something, balance = $100" so I immediately bought new shoes on Amazon.com. Not really, settle down. I used it to pay for our Staples order later that day. So by doing the right thing and being responsible did I pass some test? Is there in interoffice mole who is setting up tests for me? Probably not but the point of all this is they trust me. They really trust me. I made a decision on my own the other day whether to change vendors on our postage machine or stay with what we have. I listened to the sales pitch, I did my own math, I proved what we had, though it is not as fancy, was half the price of the "other guy's". I made the decision and they agreed.
I come to work on time, I do my work, I try to be professional on all levels, I try to demonstrate intelligence and character and its working. They love me, well as much as a boss can love an employee, they trust me, they see something in me worth keeping, worth valuing, worth passing on more responsibility to.
Today, Steve didn't have time to walk. I could have used that as a good reason to stay home. I mean, I have walked every day this week even though I didn't feel good. But I didn't let temptation sway me. I was thinking about the petty cash as I walked - and Izzy the Schnauzer ran blindly (literally) all over kingdom come.
Its nice to be trusted. Its nice that they see the real me and I do believe it takes people of character to recognize people of character which is why my last boss could not see my strengths - his lack of character made him a terrible judge of character. Back to trust though, today I did something good for me, when I could have sat on my butt and said okay I will stay home too, I got up and headed out, doggies in tow. Was it easy? No. Do I like going it alone? Heck No. Did I make it? Yes. Did I meet a cute guy with a cute lab on the trail? Yes. Lol - just kidding he was a cute young man but I'm not in the market for cute young men - except my son. But you meet people at the dog park all the time. When your dog is smelling their dog's butt and their dog is smelling your dog's butt it just stands to reason you would strike up some mundane conversation....but I digress.
To be trusted is to be proven, as Holly Hunter says in Oh Brother Where Out Thou - bonafied. When I prove myself trustworthy to exercise, I gain respect for myself. It is a gift I give myself. It is a trait that pays forward to the next time I'm in doubt about my abilities to carry through with what I started.
Forward motion takes soooo much energy to begin, but not quite as much to maintain. I'm not taking this for granted. I have forward motion. I do not want to fall off now. I trust myself to be good to me more and more. I love myself more and more. I do the right thing for me more and more. I see the character of me appearing more prevalent and strong with every move. And it may just be "Petty Cash" less than five dollars or "Petty Movement", no more than a couple of miles a day walking, but it represents trust, proving me honorable and true and that's not so petty.
That's all ~ Thanks y'all!